Twice Blessed

I suddenly found myself single. My husband of almost 30 years lost his battle with cancer. We expected to grow old together, but it wasn’t supposed to be, I guess. As the ambulance silently took his body from the hospice center, I felt so lost and alone. What would I do? Who am I? How will I get along in life on my own? I felt dazed as the shower water mingled with my tears. It was the start of a new chapter of my life I never asked for, but God knew it all along.

Although Don permitted me to remarry when I was ready, going on dates felt like cheating on him. Yet, I couldn’t stand the loneliness after about a year as a single-again woman. I prayed for God’s man for me as I talked with men on online dating sites. It was too challenging to figure out who was single and not in the new community where I moved to live near my adult kids. Online seemed the best place to go, but also very scary. Several disappointments later, I sat in church one Sunday morning, waiting for the service to start. I prayed over what I should do. Should I keep trying? It’s painful in mid-life. So many men had serious baggage from divorce. Some wanted a mom for their kids, but what about a wife? Single men at mid-life seemed to have as many issues. Who do you have for me, Lord? These thoughts swirled in my brain when I heard God say, “This is not a shopping trip. Ask me about each one, ‘Yes?’ or ‘No?’. And that is what I did.

When I met my Second Blessing, it wasn’t clear right away. As we dated long distances, I began to realize he is the one. Did Don pray ahead of me for the right man to care for me after he went home with Jesus? My Second Blessing, my Boaz, and I fasted and prayed. We got God’s thumbs-up approval. It hasn’t been easy; in fact, remarriage is tough. But it’s certainly worth the effort.